Be warned…scales fly everywhere & their transparency makes them hard to detect. The amount of times I was turned down for the last dance because the girl thought my face was on some Singing Detective flaking caper, I can tell you…

Pin the fish down by its tail on a board , & using the back of a knife scrape the fish from tail to head. Rub your fingers up & down the body to check for any rogue scales, the skin should feel smooth.

Tip within a tip…To avoid the scales-a-flyin’ do the above under a cold tap, collecting the scales in a colander underneath.

To gut a fish slit the belly open, cutting from its bumhole, up to the gills and pull out the innards. Rinse off any residue blood etc. with cold water.

Fins can be cut off with scissors, just open them up with thumb & forefinger & snip away.

Alternatively, don’t do any of the above & impress/shock/alienate your nearest & dearest by swallowing the fish whole.