Burger Me, Its Veggie

Doesn’t seem very manly does it? Well, it matters not, because behind these manly facades, lurk some jolly camp fellows itching to get out of their butch straight jackets. And anyway, we need five a day and this helps us get there. Five what I hear you ask. Some things are best left to the imagination.

Veg Burger


  • 1 pack of button mushrooms
  • 3 chunky garlic cloves
  • 1 1/2 handfulls of hazelnuts
  • 1 medium onion
  • 3 handfulls of pinto beans
  • 1 green pepper
  • Small handfull of oregano
  • Small handfull of thyme
  • Pinch of mild chilli powder
  • Pinch of cayenne pepper
  • 3 childs breakfast bowls of chick pea flour
  • 2 eggs
  • Salt and pepper
  • Soy sauce
  • Salad
  • Baps

This recipe demands the use of a blender. You can do all by hand if you choose but the blender is a bundle easier.

First off put the mushrooms in the blender till nicely chopped. Heat half a second of olive oil in a pan, add the mushrooms, some salt and pepper and a splash of soy sauce. Mushrooms are full of water, so the aim is to cook it all out. They will shrink down alot, but don’t let them burn. When that’s done put it to the side.

Now finely dice a medium onion in ubiquitous style and chop up the herbs. All this chopping can make your muscle a bit sore and, as Tom points out, “it’s like having a wank but without the payoff” (that’s probably self manipulation for our american cousins, or something). Incident ally, you could use dried herbs, but I think fresh is better. Also, you can finely dice the green pepper.

Back to the blender. Put in the 3 chunky garlics, the hazelnuts, the chopped onion and the diced pepper. Blend it up, but not to a paste, this needs to have substance. Rather like one of our deep conversations at the MCC. Add the pinto beans, give it a quick pulse, then out of the blender and into a suitably sized awaiting bowl, where you can add the chopped ‘erbs. Give it a stir then chuck in the cooked mushrooms, the chilli powder and the cayenne pepper. Again, mix it all up then get the chick pea flour in, one bowl first, then the eggs and mix. Add more chick pea flour but go slowly so you don’t end up with to dry a mixture. Remember. ’tis easier to add flour than to take it away. Finally, stir in a good grind of pepper.

Veg Mix

This is a good time for a test patty. Make a small patty and add it to a pan with a spalsh of olive oil. We tried our first one with a coating of sesame seeds but found the flavour overpowering and they burnt easily.

Do not underestimate the importance of the test. We added more spice after the taste test.

Make up the rest of your mix in good sized patties into a hot pan. Start them off nice and hot, then turn the heat down to make sure they cook through but don’t burn.

Et voila.

Finally, make a smple salad up; sliced tomato, sliced cucumber, and some lettuce leaves. Then build your Burger in your own inimitable style. See the lovely picture for more help.

The MCC pretty much all agreed that this was tastier than a meat burger and with the Righteous red pepper and onion Relish plus the potato wedges we had with it, ’twas a threateningly good dinner.

6 thoughts on “Burger Me, Its Veggie”

  1. i saw a caff on the way to avonmouth the other day….
    ’twas called “nice baps”
    ha ha ha

  2. Sweet recipe. Who cares if it’s not manly. It’s healthy and tastes good. I sometimes eat veggie burgers with taco sauce. Try that.

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