I don’t know about anyone else, but for me, seeing my Dad on telly, in the newspaper or in a bookshop window for the last 20 years has been a strange, sometimes very difficult, but ultimately enriching experience. In life, we need people to identify with, to validate us, to exchange affirmations, to say “No your bum doesn’t look too big in those leiderhausen”. So, when that fickle mistress Fame comes sweeping into your life, be it directly or otherwise, it fucks with your head man. Chat to mates, lovers, wives-go to any pub, cafe, restaurant, supermarket and I’m sure you’ll be able to strike up a convo about football, women , knitting, kids, in-laws etc. But pull up a pew in your local and say “My Dad’s in the Daily Mail again” or, in my dads’ case “I bumped into that Dame Edna Evarage in Wogans green room again last week” it’s unlikely that the response will be “Me too”.

Anyway the point is all kids want are love & their mum & dads’ approval, and I’ve finally got it from my Dad. I’ve inspired him & he inspires me. So big up my Dad & check out his blog http://keithfloyduncorked.blogspot.com. WORD IS BOND, YO.

Coming up, we’ve got Sweet Potato, Bacon & Sweetcorn Chowder and Floy-deez Far-out Fajita Feast to see out the last few days of sunshine.

I’m still pondering on what to do for the next M.C.C. My young apprentice has suggested Veggie Burgers…Why not? Mind you, if someone had even mentioned the word “Veggie” in my cheffing days, they would have been pinned to the door of the walk-in fridge with my Henckel carving fork quicker than you can say “Jaimie Oliver is a talentless tosser”. Aaah, how times have changed. Yourz…The Sense.x

Serves 4 people.

500g frying or skirt steak (trimmed of all fat & sinew),3 sheets fine egg noodles.1 lge onion.4 cloves garlic, a small persons thumb ginger, 1 red pepper, 2 limes, 1 corn on the cob, sml bunch coriander, sesame oil, 3 pinches chinese 5 spice, 2 pinches mild chili powder, pinch of sugar, handful mushrooms(about 7) freshly ground pepper.soy sauce, fish sauce…

First tenderise the beef by beating it with a meat hammer or rolling pin( basically flattening & thinning it out) & cut into thin strips. Then place in a bowl & add juice of 2 limes, a good old splash of soy sauce, like 1-2-3-4-5-6, a splish (that’s a small splash) of fish sauce, like 1-2-3, pinch of sugar & a vigorous grind of pepper mill.Mix it all up with your hands, yes, your hands-get intimate with your food, touchy feely with your food- and allow to marinate,perculate,maserate for 40mins or so.

Now prepare the vegetables etc… Slice mushrooms, pepper & onion thinly as poss. Peel & finely chop garlic & ginger.Cut sweetcorn off the cob (use tinned if you want, but taste the difference, fresh sweetcorn is actually, like, sweet)

Meanwhile put pan of water on to boil for noodles, cook as per instructions on packet. Drain & mix up with sesame oil to prevent nooldles sticking together.

Next pour 4 seconds of sesame oil in wok & put on full heat til it starts smokin’.Put marinating beef in a sieve with bowl underneath to drain off excess liquid, then throw into smoking wok with garlic & ginger, sizzle my dizzler & toss/stir for 4/5 mins. Take beef out & put to one side.

Pour in another good splash of oil to wok,heat to smokin’ add 5 spice, chilli & slap in onions, peppers & mushrooms, flex your wok bashing skills, a toss here, a shake there, or just use a lge spoon & turn ingredients over. Add salt & pepper. Note: always be tasting your food as you go along, this leaves you in a strong tweaking position- allowing a certain fine tuning,if you will, of culinary creations. Where was I, oh yeah, tapping away. So allow onions etc to sizzle & colour some, add sweetcorn, beef, saved marination juices & noodles. Finally, casually scatter in the roughly & ruggedly chopped corinder. Toss, stir, mingle, add more soy sauce if you want……..Now EAT and marvel as that luscious limey zesty meaty flavour (that’s flavor to our merican cuzzes) bounces up & down on your tastebuds like they was a trampoline. WORD

Anyroad, it’s proper tasty…For 4/5 peepers you need: 1kg diced chicken, 4 onions, 8 cloves of garlic(good 4 u), 2 thumbsized pieces ginger, 1 green chilli, 1 tin coconut milk, 3 tblsp plain yoghurt, 3 punches(handfuls)dessicated coconut, 10 cardamon pods, 4 cloves, 2 bayleaves, 2 tsp ground coriander, 3 tsp turmeric, 3 tsp cumin, 1 tsp curry powder, pinch of cinnamon. Now check the method…

Put chicken in a large bowl, add cumin, turmeric, coriander, cinnamon, curry powder, a good punch of salt, and grind that peppermill like you just don’t care( to taste) and a splash of groundnut oil. Now mix it all up. Don’t be frightened, be rugged. So the chicken is effectively having a period of marination.

In the meantime, the inbetween time, get your lacky to finely slice the onions(this avoids anyone thinking you’ve bin crying and that you, like, might have some feelings going on or something) , and finely chop the garlic, green chilli & ginger.

Righty ho, then. Next put large saucepan on a med/high heat and add 2/3 seconds of oil(on a slow pour bottle), let it get hot, sling in the onions, add a pinch of salt, stir and put a lid on it & allow to sweat down. Once the onions are soft, take the lid off, turn heat back up & let them get some golden type colour. Add garlic, chilli. ginger, stirring on the reggy regular to avoid burning. Allow to cook n’ sizzle for couple of mins and put in the chicken, doing more of the same- sizzle n’ stir. Don’t cook the chicken all the way thru at this point, just give it some colour, otherwise the end result will be very dry.

Finally, put in the rest of the ingreed-a-ments…coconut, cardamon, cloves etc, turn the heat down low, put lid on & allow the flavours to bubble away & get intimate for about 15/20 mins. Taste, check for seasoning…All good? Serve with basmati rice ( or chips, if your hard)