[note: this was a lonely comment on a test post and now has a comfy post all to itself]

So we decided on burgers, big fat ones. Whenever I’ve made burgers in the past they’ve always fallen apart, but now, aha, I have found the secret…

So, we went for a walk in the rain, picked some wild garlic, got soaking wet, came home, dried off and got on.

The kids love this stuff, getting mucky, wet, picking some stuff to eat, although they ate all their leaves before we got back…

Anyway ere we go, easy peasy lemon squeazy.

• Minced beef, not too lean.
• Handful of wild garlic (finely chopped bulb garlic will do)
• Salt
• Pepper
• An egg

The trick I’ve found with burgers is - do not mix in a bowl. I’m not sure why, but they seem to stay together better, and it’s more fun.

So get the mince out and put on a larger chopping board and flatten out with your hands, fold it over and flatten again, do this for a few minutes.

Next, break the egg over the flattened mince, wishing that your chopping board had a gutter (you’ll see what I mean), you then fold the egg into the meat. When you have kids; the more mess the better!

The egg should be thoroughly folded in and the meat kind of sticky, add some black pepper, a pinch of salt.

Make some patties, we made big fat ones, Harvey’s got tiny hands but still managed to make the biggest. Just make big meat balls, if you want to add something to flavour, this is the time. I ripped up some of the wild garlic and folded it in with the meat and then reformed as a ball, Max added some Nando’s Piri Piri sauce (he likes it hot). If you must add onions (why?) cook them first and chop really fine. Really you should add afterwards in your bun…

Cook under a hot grill for 7-10 minutes each side (depends if you like it rare or not).

Serve with a bap (I love baps) some salad, some fat crispy chips, a sliver of cheese and sauces of your choice.

A top tip for slicing the cheese (I know most of you know this; I’m new you know), use your potato peeler, revelation, after nearly chopping off my fingers.

These burgers are great, but I have to say the star of this show were the chips, I’ve never made chips before and these far exceeded my expectations, and the kids. lol.

I love toast. I’ve been eating it for about 30 years and I can’t once ever burning my dainty little fingers trying to get already popped up toast. In fact come to think of it even if it’s managed to get stuck way down in the toaster and begun to smell like bonfire I still haven’t ever had a need for toaster tongs. Who thinks these things up? Who buys them?

Like i said before though, I’m no doctor, so it’s up to you if you want to try it.

Any suggestions?

Nothing too complicated, something that we can learn from and then post back here to pass on our new found pearls of wisdom (mmmm pearls).

Sesame Oil for some reason popped into my mind, so I did a little research on the web and found that it’s been used for thousands of years for medicinal uses. Ayurveda advise the massaging of the body every morning with Sesame oil for its “healing” properties. It turns out that it is anti-bacterial, anti-fungal and anti-viral…

Now, make no mistake that I’m no Doctor, or Ayurvedic practioner, but I thought that I’d rub some into my sons arms every morning and evening and see how we got on. Max, hates having any kind of thing put on him (chicken pox and calamine lotion was a nightmare), I finally managed to get him to let me rub a little on and he pretty much instantly said that it felt less itchy and could I put it on the other arm. This was great.

So, we’ve been putting it on twice a day for just about a week now and the improvement is fantastic. The sore/itchy patches have died right down and his scratching has almost stopped. When you first put it on, it looks inflamed slightly, but I think that might just be the light shining on the oil. I’ve also started adding a little to the bath as well which is cool for having a shave in the bath (not Max, Me… )

The oil lasts for ages and is much cheaper than than the stuff you get from the chemist. If you want to try this please investigate for yourself first, we may just be lucky. The Sesame oil that you need should be “cold pressed” and as pure as you can get, organic is preferable.

I’ll update this again in a few weeks as a bit of a progress report. I know this is off topic, but I know so many people locked into the “pharma lifestyle” because we live in a society that “treats” the symptoms of disease as opposed to trying prevent it. I’d much rather Max had Sesame oil than anything the Doctor provides if it consistently works, which still remains to be seen.

Lightly toast some bread. Add a really, really thin spread of marmalade (optional, but try it…). Top with grated cheese and apply the MAPP torch. You’d be surprised just how close you have to hold it to get the cheese to brown—I started waving it vaguely in the direction of the bread, but ended up playing the flame directly over it.

Really. Blowtorch’s are all very well but marmalade and cheese? Originally found here

1. My second favourite cheese is Edam.
2. My wife is Danish.
3. I look great in a kaftan.
4. I have three bad habits. One of which is very popular.
5. I have a tattoo.

There you go then. I feel sort of naked now. Is that normal?

1. I used to organise Acid house parties.
2. I’m so hairy it looks like I’m permanently in a body sock.
3. I have two children.
4. I once went to hospital with a towel around my waist…
5. Gee and I got together 10 years before we got together eight years ago and hated each other.

Actually that was more difficult than I thought, and I’m still not sure that it makes sense. I’m going to think of some people that I can annoy tag with this game. Phatty?

For some extra girth, you will need

• 85g pudding rice
• 150ml (1/4 pint) water
• 500ml (1 pint) milk
• 1 teasponn of vanilla essence
• 2 to 3 punches of sugar
• 50g almonds (whole and blanched)
• 300ml (just over 1/2 a pint) whipping cream

You need to be quite precise with these measurements. So investing in scales and a measuring jug would be a good thing. Alternatively, you may know of a “girl” that has “domestic equipment”. Be not afraid of them, they will help you. What’s more, 85g of pudding rice really doesn’t look like much but do not be fooled into adding more. This rice will soon absorb all the liquid.So, to get going, in a pan large enough to hold the ingredients, add the rice, water, milk and sugar and bring to the boil. When bubblation is reached, turn down the heat for some simmeration.

2/. Just simmer it for about 40 minutes or until the rice has absorbed the liquid. Not sloppy either mind, or you will end up with some kind of pudding / soup hybrid. Either way, the pudding needs to be cold for the next bit. With method 1 you will have a cold pudd but with method 2 you must wait.

Do not worry if it looks a bit stodgy, Stodgy at this stage is good, when we add the whipped cream, it will loosen up. Whip the cream in a manly fashion with a whisk, or use an electric version. Get the cream nice and stiff but don’t go to far or you will end up with butter. Next you must gently fold the whipped cream into the rice. Fold?, I hear you ask. The idea is not to mix it to hard. This will just get rid of the air you just beat into it. You just want to combine the rice and cream.

Finally, crush up the almonds keeping one whole one to the side. Best way is to put them in a clear plastic bag and beat them with a rolling pin, or a wooden spoon. You will end up with crushed nuts. Take a while to get your breath back then carry on. Fold your nuts into the pudding gently, including the whole one. Whoever gets the whole almond, wins a prize, usually a car, or a smallish country.

This pudding is traditionally served with a cherry sauce and, there is fierce debate in Denmark as to whether it should be a hot or a cold sauce. How the long winter evenings must fly by. Don’t get involved - use your favourite jam. Cherry, blackberry, raspberry…. whichever you fancy. You can even heat some up and join the debate. Careful you don’t burn your tongue though.

Incidentally, this pudding goes rather well with the following choons: B52’s - “6060-842″, The Clash - “White Man in Hammersmith Palais” and Ian Dury and The Blockheads - “Sweet Gene Vincent”